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Behind Every Dumb Customer Question is a Running-Your-Business Moral

I worked in a bookstore for over 9 years and it never ceased to amaze me some of the questions asked. While funny as all get out on the surface, a “running your business” moral can be found in each and every one of them.

My absolute favorite question: “Can you show me the non-fiction section?”
My answer: “See that corner over there (I point to the Fiction section)? Don’t go there.”

If it’s true, it’s non-fiction; cooking, history, travel, sports, well, you get the picture. The “non-fiction section” is huge. Usually what they were looking for was the True Crime section as books like that are often in story form about a true event, but because most customers just have a general sense of the book industry and often didn’t even know the difference between fiction and non-, they found themselves asking the wrong question.

The moral of the story: You cannot assume your visitors ‘just know’ what you’re talking about. Be very clear about what a product is, what it can do and the advantages to them. Avoid lingo, shorthand and ‘big words’ as you will just confuse them.

My most popular question (next to “Where is the restroom”): “Can you show me where the [section name] is?”
My answer: “See that 6 foot banner hanging from the ceiling? It’s over there.”

Now, how do you point out a 6-foot banner to someone without sounding sarcastic? With a little humor, of course!

The moral of the story: People don’t look! Customers will not take the time to figure your site out so you need to lay it out for them. Use big buttons that say “Buy Now!” Don’t try to be cute, stick with words, phrases and formats that customers are already familiar with. Adding a spec of creativity and your own flair to your site is fine, but the more different you make it, the more confused people wandering your aisles you’ll have.

I could go on for pages, but you’re busy so I’ll wrap up with a more-common-than-you think question: A customer points to a 2.5’ x 3.5’sign that says ‘up to 75% off’ and asks, “Why is this book marked at 50%, shouldn’t it be 75?”
My answer: “The sign says UP TO.”

The moral of the story: Along the lines of the ‘people don’t look’ moral - people also see what they want to see. In a sign that size, the words ‘up to’ are about 3 inches tall - not hiding in the fine print and certainly not hard for the average customer to see, but when it comes to offering a deal, it better be straightforward and worth their while! Avoid confusing rules, excessive fine print and keep the offer front and center. Nothing worse than getting to the till, realizing you misunderstood the offer and feeling cheated.

Anyone else have favorite customer stories? What morals can you find in them?

on: 07/26/09

That's so funny!

I used to work in a smorg style restaurant and people would ask me if the little signs above the food meant hot as in temperature or hot as in spicy - well, if it was temperature wouldn't ALL the food have "hot" over them!!

You forget how literal people can be and that common sense really isn't that common. I guess there really isn't any such thing as a stupid question, just stupid answers..

Thanks for the chuckle (and insight) BookWorm